What to Expect When You’re Expecting Therapy Progress
Published on July 22nd, 2025 | San Francisco's Leading Neuroaffirming Child Therapy Practice
What if everything you've been told about therapy progress is backwards? What if the question isn't "How long until my child gets better?" but "how do I see the amazing changes already happening?"
After fifteen years of working with families, I've learned that real progress often looks nothing like what we expect—and that's exactly what makes it so powerful.
Why We Get Progress Wrong
We've been taught that growth should be neat and predictable—like climbing stairs, one step at a time. But your child's progress is more like a dance. Sometimes they leap forward, sometimes they step back, sometimes they move sideways. All of it matters.
Real progress looks like cycles: breakthroughs, apparent setbacks, quiet periods, then sudden leaps forward. What looks like regression often means the child is maintaining skills under stress or their brain is consolidating recent learning. This isn't failure—it's how development actually works.
Progress is influenced by how their brain processes information, stress levels, family dynamics, classroom environment, and their unique personality. These factors interact in ways that make comparison meaningless.
The Back-and-Forth Dance
Here's what no one tells you: real progress moves like ocean waves. Your child will master something one week, then struggle with it the next. They'll have a great day Tuesday and a meltdown Wednesday.
This isn't your child going backwards—it's how learning actually works. Think of it like learning to ride a bike. You wobble, you steady, you wobble again. Each wobble teaches your brain something new until suddenly, you're riding.
The backwards steps aren't mistakes. They're part of how your child's brain integrates new skills.
What Progress Really Looks Like
Every family defines success differently. Maybe for your child, progress looks like:
Having a meltdown but using words instead of hitting
Asking for help, even if they do it loudly
Wearing headphones at the movie theater and taking 2 breaks instead of 15
Choosing clothes that feel good over clothes that look "right"
Playing with one friend instead of trying to fit in with everyone
Saying "I need space" instead of pushing someone
These moments might seem small, but they represent huge internal shifts.
Why Goals Keep Changing
Your child doesn't stay the same, so our goals can't either. The kindergartener learning to name feelings becomes a fourth-grader navigating friend drama. The quiet second-grader becomes a middle schooler advocating for classroom changes.
Each new school year, each growth spurt, each life change brings different challenges. That's why therapy isn't a one-time fix—it's ongoing support that grows with your child.
The Three Phases of Growth
Getting Started (First few months): Building trust, understanding your child's unique strengths, teaching basic tools. Progress might be invisible but it's happening. It also might be apparent and your child could be making strides.
Building Skills (6 months to 2 years): Deeper learning, practicing in real situations, seeing more obvious changes in daily life. Routines start to build around new skills and mindset shifts are easier to identify.
Growing Independence (Ongoing): Your child starts using skills on their own, though they still need support during big changes or stressful times. They are human after all- we all make mistakes, no matter what season of life we are in and the work we have done to better ourselves.
Remember: these phases aren't strict timelines. Your child might cycle through them multiple times as they grow.
When Progress Feels Stuck
Sometimes it feels like nothing is changing. This usually means one of three things:
Your child is working hard just to stay stable during a tough time (that's actually huge progress)
We're measuring the wrong things (maybe they're growing in ways we haven't noticed)
Something in their world has gotten harder and we need to adjust our approach
All of these are normal and fixable.
Your Role in Their Growth
Everything we do now builds their foundation for adulthood. The child who learns self-advocacy becomes the adult who navigates workplace accommodations. Even when progress feels slow, we're investing in their lifelong capacity for independence and fulfillment.
You're not just watching from the sidelines—you're part of the team. When you celebrate small wins, you teach your child that effort matters. When you stay patient during hard days, you show them it's safe to keep trying.
The Real Goal
Therapy isn't about making your child "normal" or fixing what's "broken." Your child isn't broken. They have a different kind of brain that works in wonderful and challenging ways.
Our goal is helping them understand how their brain works, build on their strengths, and develop tools that work with their wiring, not against it.
Our Promise to You
No one can promise quick fixes or straight-line progress. I can't guarantee your child will hit every milestone on schedule.
But what we know is this: your child is constantly growing and learning. The work we do now plants seeds that will bloom for years to come. Every small step, every backwards moment, every sideways shuffle is part of their unique journey toward becoming fully themselves.
Trust your child's timeline. Celebrate the wobbles along with the victories. Progress isn't about perfection—it's about your child learning to navigate their world with confidence, one beautiful, messy step at a time.
The backwards and forwards dance isn't something to fix. It's something to honor as part of how real, lasting growth happens.
Written with gratitude,
-Taylour, Founder & Therapist
Your child's journey is uniquely theirs. If you have questions about your child’s journey, reach out to connect.